Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
