it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
