there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
