Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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