He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize