Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
