Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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