Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize