I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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