We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
