Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
