it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
