I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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