I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So much rum. So many feels.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize