Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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