There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
