I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
