Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
