Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
