kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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