I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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