At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
