also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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