He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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