Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
