Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize