I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize