Can Purell be used as lube?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
