I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
