I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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