i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
