it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
