I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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