I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
