bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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