She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
There r osticjed everywhere
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
