that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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