Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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