she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
