is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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