This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
