If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
