I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
