We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
