If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
