im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
