Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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