I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
