remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
