I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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