the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
did i walk over a car last night?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
