Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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