She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
