the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
