everyone is single if you try hard enough
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
