Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
