This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
