if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
