She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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