You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Someone signed my nipple.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize