I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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