i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
